Reflections On Turning 65

I love celebrating birthdays. Birthdays are a time when we celebrate others for who they are. It is a time to say we are glad you are here, and we are glad that we know you. This weekend we celebrated my birthday (I say “we” because I have orchestrated my own birthday celebration with some of my closest friends.  It feels narcissistic, but this birthday felt big as I turned 65).

I had a great weekend and have felt celebrated. It has also been the first birthday I have had since I was 16that I have felt like things have changed because I turned a year older. When I was 16, I got a driver’s license, when I turned 65, I went on Medicare. It is true that when I turned 18-I could vote, but there was not an election on that day, so it didn’t mean much. When I turned 21, I could drink, but I was out to sea, there was no alcohol on the ship, and I didn’t drink anyway, so no big deal. Debbie and other friends made sure I had big celebrations when I turned 40, 50 and 60, but my life did not change much.

For me, turning 65 has been a time of deep reflection on how I have lived and how I want to finish. As I reflect on 65, I feel good about the life I have lived and the choices that I have made. As I think about some of the big choices, I realize that few people make the choices I have made.  It is also clear that when I made these choices, I was not certain how they would work out. A few others have made some of these choices and the results have not been as good. So, this is not a recipe on how to live but more of a reflection on my life. Here then are some of the key decisions I have made, and how they have worked out.

KEY DECISIONS

The first major decision I made apart from my parents was the to accept Jesus Christ as my savior in 1972. I was a sophomore in high school and my parents were not supportive of this decision. But I wanted to know God and wanted Him to guide my life. Going to church-and meeting other kids who were not into sports or being the most popular personalities on campus, was like a breath of fresh air that set the course of my whole life. Being part of a church was not a drama-free zone, and my life had ups and downs at church, but knowing there was a God who was bigger than my current situation was a stabilizing factor in my high school years.

Joining the US Navy and then getting out of the US Navy were both great decisions for me. I joined quickly with little thought-and even less information about what the military was like. All I knew for sure was that the Vietnam War was over, and it was doubtful the US would be in another armed conflict any time soon. Through some very difficult circumstances (I was told I would be stationed on land in Japan, which turned out to be untrue. I was also told I would be home for three months when the ship was in dry dock, which also turned out to be untrue, and I was sent to the Philippines instead.) I learned I was not in control, but I could trust a God who was. It was also while I was in the Navy that I found my calling as a pastor/philosopher, although I didn’t know that would be my calling until I had been out of the Navy for the better part of a year.

It was also while I was in the Navy that I became eligible for the GI Bill, which allowed me to attend Bible College for four years and graduate debt free. I think the GI Bill is the greatest idea to show veterans, in a tangible way, that we appreciate their service and allow them to find a life outside the military. It is easy to be critical of all the parts of the government that don’t work well and to forget the parts that help so many people. I am grateful to the US government for giving me a job in the US Navy and for GI Bill on completion of my service.

Marrying Debbie at 19, when I was on my way to Japan, was another great decision which was made without a lot of thought. We did get counsel from others, which was huge, but we were only engaged for ten days and, after a four-day honeymoon, I left for Japan. Twenty-five years ago, after we had been married for 20 years, I wrote her a small book in which I detailed all the things I love about her that I didn’t know when we got married. What I did know about her was her unfailing love for Jesus and her trust that God would take care of us if we remained faithful to Him. I got lucky when I married Debbie, no doubt about that. However, getting counsel from others who were older, and reaffirming our commitment to the Lord, were key parts of this good decision.

Joining Cadence International and moving to Germany with two small boys was difficult, but for us a great decision. I didn’t really want to be a missionary. I wanted to be the pastor of a large church, write books, and speak at Christian conferences. (I also wanted to make a lot of money, but it would have been unwise to say that when looking for a job as a pastor, so I kept that desire to myself). However, I learned quickly that I do not have the skill or patience to lead a church. Cadence was a great fit for us, combining my love for adventure, my calling as a pastor/teacher and Debbie’s gifts of hospitality.

CHOICES I DIDN’T MAKE

In 2006, I taught high school for a semester in Peoria, Arizona and was shocked by how much I loved the job. I loved my colleagues, the administration, the teaching, and especially the students. It was such a good experience that, until just recently, I seriously considered changing careers and becoming a high school teacher. After returning to the US in 2014, while working with Cadence, I enrolled at the University of Wyoming to become a certified teacher. I graduated a year ago. I am so glad I never made the change in career. Over the last several years I learned a lot about teaching high school. For example, I learned my time teaching in Peoria was unique.  The subjects I taught and the relationships that I had with other faculty and staff don’t come about often. I also learned that what I really want to talk about is Jesus, who He is and how He is relevant to life. Teaching in public high school I always had to stop short of declaring my love for Jesus.

I have also thought, from time to time, that perhaps what I really want to do is teach at a university. There is a scene from the movie Shadowlands where C.S. Lewis (played by Anthony Hopkins) is sitting in a circle with about eight students, and he is leading them in an engaging discussion about life. He is wearing a sport coat with patches on the sleeve, smoking a pipe and asking probing questions to interested students.  I would love to do that but have learned that is not really what university professors do, and most college students are not that interested in answering probing questions.

If something were to happen and I could no longer be a minister/pastor/philosopher, teaching high school or college would be my second choice. But at 65 I could not be happier that I have had the privilege of preaching the Word of God, being involved with young people, and traveling the world.  Joining Cadence International was the best decision for me.

LOOKING AHEAD

I am looking forward to the next ten years. I have a great relationship with Debbie, our kids, daughters-in-law and grandkids. I want to strengthen those relationships and look for opportunities to help my grandchildren as they navigate their teenage years.  I want to continue to seek out young people who are interested in a conversation about their lives and God. It is my desire to continue working with the US Air Force and the chaplains at FE Warren. I love my work with Cadence, and I love doing it in Cheyenne. Although I know I will not pursue being a high school teacher, I do like being a substitute teacher a couple of times a week and want to continue working in the schools here in Cheyenne.  I want to continue to deepen the friendships I have outside of Cheyenne. I have got the best friends all over the world, and I am committed to maintaining those friendships.

Of course, it is impossible to know what the next ten years will hold for me. I am sure there will be unforeseen health challenges and unforeseen world events (I never saw the COVID pandemic coming). But my love for family, friends, ministry, and learning are as strong as ever. At 65, I want to enjoy all life has to offer, and I want to give myself in service to my family, my friends, and my community, as long as I have the physical and mental strength to do so.