When I give my weekly briefing to new Airmen I begin by saying that our brains are always telling us what will make us happy, it is a like a program running in the back of our consciousness that we are not really aware of, and our brains are often giving us wrong or incomplete information. I then show a short video on optical illusions which demonstrate how are brains often misinterpret the real world. The conclusion, if we really want to be happy we must listen to something different than what our brains are telling us. (This is one of the reasons why Bible Study, Church, reading and thinking with others is so important, we all need an outside perspective.) The problem comes because it is so hard to believe our brains are not telling us the truth because when our brain talks to us it FEELS so true.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to the happiness lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, one of my favorite podcasts. She began by sharing a story of when she was on a trip and rented a new Ford Mustang. As she drove the rental car, she became increasing dissatisfied with her own, older car. She then went on to explain the science of happiness has shown that a new car will not make you very happy for very long. Although most of us need a car and from time to time we must upgrade, buying a new fancy car just doesn’t bring the happiness that your brain tells you that it will. She went on to explain that long term, deep happiness comes not from the stuff we buy but from the experiences we have and that the money we might spend on a new fancy car would be better invested into experiences with friends or family.
I have NO trouble believing this. All my life I have believed this idea and taught this truth to others. I find that it is a very Biblical idea (Luke 9:24-25). However, my brain, like yours, lies to me and it is hard to believe it isn’t true.When I travel and need to rent a car I don’t need a fancy car or a big car for the few days I am in a different city. It is my custom to always rent the most inexpensive economy car I can. On Saturday I flew to Phoenix and had, as is my custom, reserved an economy car. However, at the rental counter the agent asked if I wanted a FREE upgrade. Of course, I like free upgrade. I didn’t pay attention to the upgrade; I just knew it was an upgrade.
When I went out to the lot and found “my car” it was a new GMC Canyon, a four-door crew cab pickup truck with a short bed. Cool I thought, I seldom get to drive a truck. As I began driving this new truck my brain went from “cool” to informing me I really like driving this machine. After a few miles my brain began to send another message, slightly louder, “this is great, you should get one of these”. A few more miles and the message now, very loud and quite clear was, “your car really isn’t very good. Look at all the new things this car has. This truck is so much fun to drive. You really deserve this car. You have worked hard all your life and there is no reason you shouldn’t have a truck like this. Come on, you can afford it. Come on Brad, give yourself this small gift”.
Of course, I remembered what I just heard from Dr. Laurie Santos. And I remember and could quote from memory Luke 9:24-25. I “knew” my brain was lying to me, but what my brain was saying was so real and felt absolutely true!
This is why it is hard to find happiness even when you know the science of happiness and believe what the Bible says about living an abundant life, it is so hard to believe that what your brain tells you, and what feels so true isn’t.
There are two reasons I won’t buy a new truck and remain happy. One is because I am married to a very sensible women who I love and she will remind me that a new truck won’t make me happy. Secondly, deep down I believe the Bible and science more than I believe my brain. Deep down, I know two things: 1) once I am home in my own car, I will find my car very satisfactory and 2) I am better investing my money in experiences more than in new fancy stuff.
This little story also illustrates why we need good friends, who want our very best and will remind us what is true. There is no doubt in my mind that Debbie is my very best friend and that for almost 45 years she has reminded me of the truth about where happiness is found. My prayer for all of you is that you will have good friends that remind you of the truth, that you would believe the Bible and the science happiness, and you would find the deep satisfying happiness that God wants for you.
I love this Brad. I can relate as I have these conversations in my head on a regular basis. Even though I know this to be true about happiness happiness I confess that I still give into this temptation at times.
It helps me personally if I slow down and give myself some space to think when making these kinds is decisions. My trick on Amazon purchases is to put the item in my cart and then tag it “Save it for later” and then wait a few days or even weeks. More often than not I delete the item in my mind and then on the website.