I believe that to be really happy you need to be in the moment. Dwelling on the past or the future does not increase our happiness. However, as I suggested in my last blog, being in the moment and thinking about the future, or the past, do not have to be mutually exclusive. I do not want to dwell on the past, or fantasize about the future, but it is helpful to think about where I am going (future), and examine how I got to where I am (past). Recently I was teaching world history at East High School (obviously thinking about the past). The class is learning how ancient tribes moved from a hunter-gatherer society to an agrarian society with domesticated plants and animals. The textbook assumes that this was progress (the textbook also makes this boring). However, as I was teaching, I was thinking about what I read not too long ago in Yuval Harari’s, Sapiens. He suggests that people were happier back when all they had to do was hunt and gather food for their tribe.
I suggested this idea to the students-that maybe, if there were no school, and if every day they got to hang out with their tribe and search for food, they would find their relationships and work more satisfying than being in school. This generated some good conversation.
I think if I had a choice, I would prefer to be teaching at school and living in the 21st century rather than living in a hunter-gatherer society. There are many things about the hunter-gather society which I find unappealing. But reframing history in a paradigm other than progress provides an opportunity to enjoy a present that might not otherwise exist.
THINKING ABOUT OUR PAST
Even though I was thinking about the past in non-personal, academic terms, I think the same principles apply to our own personal histories. It is helpful to ask ourselves questions about our past. Questions like: what decisions have I made which have landed me where I am? What have been the motives behind those decisions? How have past events and relationships shaped who I am, in ways that I like and don’t like? We can’t change the past, but we can examine the assumptions we have made about the past and reframe the story so we can better be present in the moment.
For example-in 2006, for a short time, I was a full-time teacher at Cactus High School in Peoria, Arizona. I remember being a full-time teacher as the hardest thing I have ever done. It felt like I didn’t sleep until Columbus Day. I loved the students who were in my classes and the colleagues I worked with. Even though I found the work very difficult, it was also very rewarding. The students were good about expressing their gratitude for my teaching, both during the year, and for months after the school year had come to an end. Teaching high school was so rewarding for me-that for the next couple of years I wondered if I should have pursued a career as a high school teacher instead of a missionary/philosopher.
By examining this experience, I have gained some valuable insight. First, I came to realize that this teaching experience was unique. The students, colleagues, the administration, and the curriculum were all aligned in a very unique way which likely could not have been duplicated. Second, I also came to realize that one of the reasons I enjoyed teaching high school so much is because I am NOT a high school teacher. High school teachers get locked into a subject, a school, a routine, and a system which, over the years, appears to drain their energy and passion. By contrast, I have had a career which has been full of high adventure, travel, and change.
PUTTING THE PAST TO REST
As I have evaluated my short time as a high school teacher, I have no regrets that I became a missionary/ philosopher. Thinking about, and better understanding my past, has freed me to enjoy being a missionary/philosopher and substitute teacher without any misgivings. Thinking well about this past experience has taken deliberate effort. Talking honestly with others has been especially helpful in understanding my time in the classroom. Others have been able to offer alternative ways of looking at those few months, alternatives that I could not have seen on my own, and which have been very helpful.
As a life coach I have helped others to see alternative ways of viewing their past, their parents, their families, and their “failures.” Dwelling on the past or living with regrets is not conducive to happiness or good mental health. But examining the past in constructive ways can free us from the burden of the past. All of us have a past which is hard to understand. We often construct a narrative of our past which isn’t accurate or helpful. Taking the time to untangle our own history is hard, but done well is always worth it.
My prayer is that all of you have taken, or will take, the time to think honestly about your past. Maybe with a good friend, a pastor, or a therapist. I am sure that these conversations will help you live better in the moment.
