A couple of weeks ago a pastor asked me if I enjoyed writing. I was surprised by how quickly and emphatically I answered, “NO.” It takes me a long time to complete these few sentences. For me, the time I spend writing is not peaceful. While hammering away on the keyboard, I have moments when I think about what I could be reading, which I enjoy a good deal more. My thoughts are also interrupted with visions of urgent tasks which are begging for my attention. It is hard to stay focused.
Although my blogs are usually just over one page, I revise each sentence several times. While I am revising, I hear the voice of my 11th grade English teacher, who told me she had never met anyone who could speak so well but write so poorly. Because I have received many comments like that over the years, I don’t have a lot of confidence in my writing. I am lucky to have talented editors who make important, and often substantial suggestions on how the blog can be improved. I am grateful for my editors, who volunteer their time, and since they have been working with me, the blogs are much better. However, because of my insecurities I cringe every time I send the blog off for editing. I am afraid my editors will think badly of my ideas or agree with my 11th grade English teacher. Once I get the blog returned with suggestions and corrections, there is more time required to finish the blog.
As much as I don’t like writing, it has become an important part of my life. Writing forces me to think and articulate what is on my mind. I get positive feedback from my readers, which leads me to believe my writing is helpful to others outside my Cheyenne community. I also have a sense of satisfaction after posting every blog. I have no doubts that writing is good for my soul. It is like going to the gym, or eating raw spinach-not enjoyable, but really good for me.
I think if we are going to live the best possible life, a life that is full of meaning, and accomplishment, along with mental and physical health, we must force ourselves to do things which are unpleasant. As I write that sentence my mind drifts off to a variety of things which I choose to do every week which are unpleasant–at least temporarily. Right now, I am imagining the feeling of accomplishment I will feel when I post this blog. The pain of writing it will fade in the glow of accomplishment very soon. Writing, for me, is ONLY temporarily unpleasant.
This seems important. I know so many young people who work hard to avoid everything that is unpleasant and soon find themselves in very unhappy places. I also know many older people who imagine a time of retirement where everything is pleasant, and they miss the good things that are happening right in front of them at that moment. Doing things that are unpleasant is part of living the best possible life.
I pray that this week you will make a commitment to doing the unpleasant things which God has called you to. I pray that you will see that the unpleasant nature of the task is only temporary and will be replaced with a feeling of accomplishment once the task is done.
Oh Brad, I can SO relate!!! Being the writer of a blog myself, I know exactly how you feel, from forcing yourself to sit down, concentrate and write, to the feeling of dread as you wait for the “verdict” from your editor, to the elation when you finally hit the “publish” button, sending your blog into cyberspace. And when affirming comments appear in your inbox, it makes you realize that your efforts are so worthwhile. I appreciate your diligence in pouring yourself out onto the written page. Thank you.