In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)
COMPASSION FOR OTHERS’ TROUBLE
The most obvious truth which all religions and philosophies have in common is that in this world you will have trouble. This morning I am thinking of those who live in Ukraine who are experiencing the pain, destruction, and terror of war. I am thinking of my friends in Burundi who experience crushing poverty and lack the most basic needs. I am thinking of my friends at the retirement home here in Cheyenne who are alone and in failing health. I am thinking of our young Airmen who are overwhelmed with being in the Air Force. Every day they deal with demanding schedules, often an unpleasant work environment, and being far from home for the first time. It is easy for me to feel compassion for those who I know and for those who I read about in Europe. Their trouble is obvious, overwhelming, and crushing.
COMPASSION FOR MY TROUBLES?
It is more difficult to find compassion for myself. My life is just about perfect. I live in a well-built house which is warm, cozy, and stocked with food. I am at home with a wife I love and two very cute dogs who I believe love me.[1] I have a job which feels important and which I am free to develop without interference from a demanding boss who micromanages my work. What more could a guy want?
However, it turns out I must live with trouble as well, it just isn’t as obvious. For the last couple of days, I have delt with disappointment and loneliness. Last week I thought I had made some really good connections with key people at a conference I had attended. They had promised to be in touch, and they still might call, but I am disappointed I have not heard from them. I wanted to teach high school today but, and this is unusual, I never got a call. That is disappointing. Today I want to hang out with a good friend, but my good friends live in other parts of the country. I wonder why I don’t have these kinds of friends in Cheyenne.
As I am honest about my feelings of loneliness and disappointment, I am angry with myself for feeling this way. There are people who I know, and others who I read about, who have real problems. My problems hardly compare with theirs. This morning I am thinking, “What would I tell someone who came to me with such minor problems of loneliness and disappointment when there are others who are experiencing real suffering?”
HOW TO SHOW COMPASSION TO YOURSELF
First, I would tell them that comparing their own pain to the pain of others is not helpful. I would tell them that pain is pain, and it is real. I would treat their pain with compassion. I would tell them I was sorry they felt that way and feel honored that they trusted me enough to share their pain with me. I would do my best to communicate how much I appreciated their courage for being honest about how they felt. I would express how much I admired that they were not pretending that everything was just fine.
After listening and asking questions, doing my best to understand their loneliness and disappointments, I would suggest possible solutions and help them set some short-term goals that might improve their mood.
Today I have decided to treat myself like someone I am responsible for helping (Rule two from 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson). If treating others with compassion will serve the world, it only makes sense that I should treat myself with that same compassion. As I have been writing this blog, I have asked myself questions about my situation and now I better understand my own soul. I have also been thinking of short-term goals which will improve my mood and I feel better already.[2]
No one is ever free from trouble in this world. But neither are we alone or helpless in the face of our troubles because Jesus has overcome the world. God tells us in 2 Peter 1:3, “God has bestowed upon us, through his divine power, everything that we need for life and godliness.” Sometimes our troubles are obvious, other times they are more subtle, but whether they are obvious or subtle, God has given us what we need to lead a victorious life.
Today I pray that you are experiencing God’s divine resources and that you find these resources from our Lord encouraging as you face your troubles.
[1] If you doubt dogs whether dogs can really love people see How Dogs Love Us by Gregory Berns
[2] My short-term goals included spending some time listing all the things in my life that I love. Reviewing the Bible Veres, I have memorized and memorizing another. Calling some of my friends in other states.
