Research shows that if you want to be happy you must make a practice of expressing gratitude. This expression can be silent, as if speaking to yourself, aloud to no one particular, or in prayer to God. The more you can express gratitude for what you have and everything that is right with your life, the more happiness you will experience. This is easy to affirm and isn’t difficult to talk about. But in a world where there is so much disappointment, and so many reminders by advertisers of what we don’t have, it isn’t easy to do.
PORTRAIT OF GRATITUDE
Debbie and I spent the weekend in Red Wing, Minnesota. We came to celebrate
Dric & Beth
Dric and Beth’s fifth wedding anniversary. We first met Dric in 1990 when he was a 19 year old soldier stationed in Mannheim Germany. When we first met him, he was one of the most grateful and positive young men I have ever met. He enjoyed every moment he was in Germany and was optimistic about the future. He knew what he wanted, he had a plan to get there, and he had little doubt it would come to pass. His plan was to remain single, attend Moody Bible Institute (MBI) and become a missionary pilot. After separating from the Army he was accepted into MBI and spent a year studying the Bible. At the end of the first year, he spent the summer at Moody’s aviation school. However, at the end of the summer it was recommended he not continue in the aviation program. (Translation: he was dropped like a heavy rock from the program.)
OVERCOMING SETBACKS
Of course, this was disappointing, but he was not discouraged. He concluded that if
Every day Dric writes something that went well on his calendar. He has been doing this since he was in high school. He has them all posted in his office and keeps five in his bedroom that he looks at every day.
he could not be a missionary pilot, he could still be a missionary. He applied to Cadence International, was accepted, and soon found himself in Darmstadt Germany as a full-time missionary. However, after a very successful year with Cadence, he concluded that he was not cut out for full time missionary work. Since then, he has had 33 different jobs in 18 different lines of work. He finally discovered his calling and his passion. Turns out he LOVES climbing trees, and he began a successful tree trimming business in Red Wing, Minnesota. Soon after he began this business Dric discovered that climbing trees for a living and running your own business comes with a variety of challenges. At times this calling has been very difficult.
He also discovered, through a long process, that he was in love and should propose marriage to the girl he was in love with; so five years ago they were married. It is clear that Dric and Beth have a deep love for each other, but they have had to face significant health challenges that accompanied the normal challenges that come with being married.
DEALING WITH ENVY
Dric has NOT lived a charmed life. I think if most people were in his current circumstance, they would feel a certain amount of disappointment that things did not work out as planned. I think most people would look at others in their neighborhood or church, people who appear to have had more success, and feel at least a small amount of envy. (Confession time: I am often tempted to look at others who are more successful than I am and feel at least a twinge of envy. Even this weekend I looked through a book at Dric’s house which was authored by a friend of mine. He has published several books and is a sought-after speaker. I was aware of feeling a little envious. I know that I shouldn’t feel that way for many reasons, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel it.)
MAKING GRATITUDE HABITUAL
However, Dric feels only gratitude for what he has. Over the weekend I asked Dric
With Dric and Beth at their anniversary party
pointed questions relating to how he really feels, and he continually expressed nothing but gratitude. Of course, it has been my experience that people will often lie about how they really feel because they desire to make a good impression. So, I watch how they interact with the environment when things go wrong. Over the weekend there were a number of things that didn’t go as planned with the anniversary party. Yet, regardless of circumstances, Dric NEVER lost his smile, optimism, or his expression of gratitude.
When I asked Dric how he is able to maintain such a positive attitude and grateful spirit, he replied, “I think it is genetic.” I know that some people are just born more optimistic than others, but I find it remarkable that Dric refuses to take any credit for the grateful spirit which he has cultivated through years of being intentionally grateful.
Dric is a normal human being. I am sure that he has had times of sadness and discouragement. I am also sure that he will be uncomfortable reading this and insist that his attitude is nothing special, but rather the normal response of anyone who understands the gospel, which teaches that we are sinners who deserve hell and are granted great favor by God.
However, being with Dric this weekend reminds me that our happiness is NOT dependent on how things work out, but rather our response to them. He has reminded me that real joy comes from looking at what we have, not at what is lacking; and that gratitude is ALWAYS a choice we can make. He has also reminded me that having a grateful spirit is a habit that we cultivate by the intentional decisions we make every day, and throughout the day.
I pray that today you would take a few moments to be grateful for what you have. Perhaps you might take five minutes and make a list of good things in your life. Gratitude isn’t easy to cultivate in our current culture, but I challenge you to intentionally look at what is good in your life and express your gratitude, to yourself, to another person, or to God, who would love to hear your prayer of joyful gratitude.
