It is clear to everyone that just being alive comes with adversity. Sometimes this adversity is intense and comes on suddenly and is labeled trauma. Other times the adversity is chronic and feels like it will never end and is labeled suffering. Adversity, trauma, and suffering are all slightly different in meaning, but they all describe unpleasant circumstances that we wish to avoid. Adversity can be physical, emotional, vocational, or relational, it can also be all four at once. Siddhartha Gautama, the founder of Buddhism, was shielded from this truth for a while when he lived in the palace but a short walk was all it took for him to be awakened to the suffering and adversity taking place outside the palace. But even if he had not left the palace, eventually, he would have faced the adversity that comes from being alive; the death of his parents, sickness, and eventually his own decline and death. The Buddha’s profound observation is that we all suffer, and all our suffering comes from desire, and we can eliminate suffering by eliminating all desire.
It is also no secret that suffering, trauma, and adversity can result in emotional pain and is a leading contributor to mental illness. It seems reasonable that the best course of action is to avoid as much adversity as possible so that the negative effects can be avoided as well. In addition, adversity in all its forms, seems to make those who experience it unhappy.
However, knowing that most of us can not completely avoid the trials and traumas that come with living, a second strategy would be to develop a resilience so that when adversity does occur, we can withstand the adversity and spring back into shape. For the last 70 years researchers have focused on how resilience works so that people can be better prepared when the storms of life inevitably come to us. The military has developed many classes and trainings that relate to being resilient because Airmen, Soldiers, Sailors and Marines often experience a great deal of trauma in their careers.
However, besides living a life free from desire and avoiding all suffering or developing strategies of resilience to withstand the trials that come our way, there is a third way to think about adversity. Over the last 15 years researchers have begun to study the positive impact that adversity can have on one’s life. Under certain conditions trials can move us to toward being a happier person.
This third option is often labeled post traumatic growth or being anti-fragile. If there is such a thing as post traumatic growth (and I think there is) then it has implications for how 
we live our lives. If we want to avoid all suffering it is a good idea to eliminate all desire. If we are developing resilience, then we are only preparing for the day that adversity strikes so we can stay strong. But if we believe in post-traumatic, growth we will take more chances, and in times of crisis we will understand that the pain of the crisis will not last. We can also develop an optimistic attitude knowing that when the pain has passed, we’ll be happier and more fulfilled because we went through the pain.
This week at our happiness conversation we will explore how adversity can help add happiness to our lives and under what circumstances we should embrace adversity. We will also discuss circumstances where adversity is not helpful and should be avoided.
