Making Decisions: Are They Emotional or Rational?

For the last several years I have read books from leading research scientists  who have discovered we think that we are rational beings who make rational decisions. However, the truth is, more often than not, we make emotional decisions which are quickly supported by our rational self. As I think about major decisions I have made over the course of my life I have come up with good reasons for the decisions I have made. I have no problem believing that these were emotional decisions that were only supported by reasons after the decision was made. When I think of these major decisions: joining the US Navy, getting married at 19 to Debbie, going to Bible School, joining Cadence International, moving to Cheyenne in 2014, and then to Aurora a few weeks ago,  they have had positive outcomes. 

However, there is one decision I made a couple of years ago, which has had significant consequences, that was made by pure emotion. I won’t even pretend I was thinking when I made the decision. Since making this decision I have worked hard to come up with good reasons why I took this course of action.

This was a decision which made my life more difficult. I often think to myself (and often voice out loud), “What kind of an idiot am I?” However, I don’t have any regrets with this choice and, even though it has made my life more complicated, I am glad I chose it.

What have I chosen? I chose, by my own free will, to have two large dogs. Having dogs appears to be a bad decision in many ways.  These dogs restrict my travel. I am always thinking about how long they have been alone and, if we must travel and cannot take them with us, I must find “childcare” for the dogs. I now worry about them and often wonder what they are thinking. Just taking them for walks or to the dog park is often inconvenient. When they get sick there is a mess to clean up, and a couple of times their sickness or injuries have had significant financial implications. What was I thinking (I wasn’t)? At 67 years old I should want my life to be easier, not more difficult.

So, how do I  now justify my emotional decision? First, I love my dogs and I believe that love is good. Love is complicated and has different nuances depending on the object of the love. Although there are similarities, saying I love my dogs does not have exactly the same meaning as when I say I love my wife, my children, or my friends. So, what do I mean when I say, “I love my dogs”? For one thing, it means I have an emotional connection with them. I miss them when we are separated, happy when we are reunited, and I worry about them when they are sick, injured, or lost. When my dogs die, which they do after 12-16 years, I cry a lot and miss them terribly.

It also means I want to take care of them. I want to do everything I can to make sure they have the best life they can given the circumstance we find ourselves in. I make sure they have food and water, get daily exercise, and go to the vet for regular checkups.

There is also evidence that my dogs love me. If you’re not a dog lover that may sound strange. But research has found evidence that dogs really do love their owners.*

Love is costly and causes pain as well as joy, but I choose love, and my dogs give me the opportunity to love and be loved. 

I also think that God has designed us to take care of and nurture His creation. It can be a vegetable garden, a lawn, or a small farm. I think that we can improve our mental health if there is some part of His creation that we are responsible to take care of. By taking care of my dogs, I am doing something I was designed to do.

These are not good reasons to have two large dogs, they are just the best I can come up with. 

In less than three weeks Debbie and I will embark on a six-to-nine-month trip across the country in an RV trailer. Our dogs are going with us. We will NOT inflict our dogs on the people we visit, they will stay home in the trailer. They will get to explore various dog parks and walks in new and unusual places. They have a comfortable place to ride in the back of the truck, and I hope they have a good time.

I am not sure that traveling across the country in an RV trailer is a good idea. Trying to do it with two large dogs seems insane. This is not my first attempt at doing something which seemed crazy. In 1983 I ran two marathons, 1992 I traveled to Moscow when Russia was in complete chaos, I have made seven trips to Burundi, and in 2016 I rode my bicycle a third of the way across the country. All these decisions were emotional decisions that had only a thin foundation of reason behind them. And I am so glad I did them.

I don’t want my life to be marked by stupid decisions. There are plenty of people who have ruined their lives because they made bad decisions. But I also don’t want to live where I never take chances and always do what is reasonable, even if such a thing was possible. 

I will never pretend that my decisions are well reasoned. They are emotional decisions for which I can find reasons to support. Although the decision to travel the country seems insane, the downside is minimal (thinking carefully about the downside seems reasonable and prudent). If we find that traveling in the RV is just awful, we will quit, come home, and sell the trailer. If we get in an accident, it probably will not be fatal, and the truck and trailer are insured. And I am excited about the upside of such a trip: the opportunity to travel and see our best friends that we have known for over four decades who are scattered across the country. 

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.

* https://www.dailypaws.com/living-with-pets/pet-owner-relationship/do-dogs-love-us-understanding-emotions-in-dogs Also see: How Dogs Love Us.