“I have been crucified with Christ: and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20
This is one of the first Bible verses I ever memorized, and I have known, in an intellectual way, that my primary identity is in Christ. Not only have I been crucified with Christ, but I have been raised with Christ (Colossians 3:1). My identity as a husband, father or teacher is all a distant second to my identity in Christ. However, I confess that for
the last 50 years I have struggled to make that a reality in my life. All too often I have based my identity on my title, the applause of a crowd, the praise of leadership, or the heartfelt thanks of those we have ministered to. For the last couple of months, I have been working with an Enneagram coach to better understand my personality (a very helpful exercise for which I am grateful), and it has been no surprise to me that my primary sin is pride, and I am often motivated by my need to be important. I hate this about myself, but it is true, and denial isn’t helpful.
Throughout the years God has brought circumstances into my life to help me find my deepest identity in Christ. He graciously took away my title, the applause of the crowd and the praise of leadership. But for the last two weeks He did something new, He put me to bed.
This last week I have been able to get up some, but after an hour of sitting in a chair or walking for 10-15 minutes I need a nap. I have spent a lot of time in bed sleeping. I have not been reading, studying, or sharing my life and the gospel.
I have not enjoyed these last couple of weeks, but I think they have been good for my soul. God’s love for me is NOT based on what I can do, and He doesn’t love me any less because I am sleeping. Often, as I have been lying in bed, just before I go to sleep, I can hear His voice telling me I am His child and He loves me for who I am, not because of what I do or what I have accomplished.
Spiritual growth is often a result of our choices to engage in the spiritual disciplines of reading scripture, praying, fasting, and doing selfless acts of kindness. I have spent most of my life encouraging young people to actively pursue these activities. However, spiritual growth also occurs when we accept the circumstances of our lives, especially the unpleasant ones that we would never choose, as a gift from God to teach us what we cannot learn through the disciplines. During these last couple of weeks what I have known intellectually for years is becoming more of a reality in my life.
I thank God for these last two weeks, not because they have been restful, but because I have heard His voice and drawn closer to Him. I pray that today you would thank God for the circumstances of your life, even if they are not pleasant, and seek to learn what He wants to teach you.
