THE IMPORTANCE TO REMAINING IN THE PRESENT
It is easy to make yourself unhappy by thinking of the future. This is true for a couple of reasons. Reason one: when thinking about the
future, we miss what is happening in the moment. When thinking about the future we miss the breath we just took, the smile of a cute child, or the beauty of the clouds in the sky. There are so many good things happening right now that you don’t want to miss, and when we are focused on the future it is easy to miss the moment.
Reason two: Our imagined future isn’t as good or as bad as we think it is going to be. It is easy to think that when you graduate, or get a new car, or retire, you will finally be in a place to be happy. But, as we all know from experience, when you think about the future in this way it is like chasing a mirage in the desert. When you arrive at the future, it isn’t as good as you imagined, and it brings problems you didn’t imagine (like more responsibility, a large car payment, or perhaps a loss of identity). The imagined happiness vanishes and is quickly replaced by another mirage. Similarly, when we are pessimistic, our imagined awful future seldom materializes, and when it does, it is not as bad as we imagined. This is why Jesus tells us not worry about the future (Matthew 6:25-34).
Staying in the present is not easy and takes practice. I am looking forward to our happiness conversation this week because Denzel, who has deliberately practiced staying in the present, is going to teach us all how we can be better at being in the moment.
THE POSSIBILITY OF THE FUTURE
However, I am thinking about how we can think about our future, and our past, in ways that increase our happiness and mental well-being. This week I want to write about how we can think about our future, and next week I want to talk about how we can think about our past, and leverage these thoughts in a way that increases our happiness.
am currently excited about a mini vacation which we have planned for next week. It isn’t a big vacation, just a couple of days in the big city (Denver) seeing friends and visiting some of our favorite spots. As I imagine this future, I am aware of all the things which may play out differently than what I am imaging: our favorite restaurant might be unexpectedly closed (that has happened before), we could get caught in traffic and spend several unexpected hours on the interstate (that has happened often), our friends might have to cancel at the last minute (this is always a possibility in the world we live in). I am also aware that the weekend will go fast, and regardless of how well it goes it will not have a long-lasting impact on my life.
However, as I think about the weekend and anticipate the future, it does make me happy. Thinking unrealistically about the future, either because you imagine everything going as planned or because you think it will completely alter your life, is a recipe for disaster. But having something to look forward to in the not-too-distant future seems to bring a good deal of positive emotions.
For most of my life I have been pretty realistic that every move, new job, or project, will bring unexpected problems as well as expected and unexpected blessings. However, I have not been realistically thinking about short term vacations. I have gotten very excited about some of my travels and did not imagine the road construction, canceled flight, or bad weather which would change all my plans. This has led to a lot of disappointment, frustration, and anger.
I am looking forward to next weekend, but I am relaxed knowing several things will probably go wrong and that will be just fine. I think that there is a way to imagine the future, and find happiness in anticipation, but it can never be at the expense of the moment, and it can never be unrealistic.
I pray you have something in your future which you are looking forward to with excited anticipation. Not because everything will go right, and not because it will change your whole life, but because our future is orchestrated by a loving God and there are some good gifts for you to enjoy soon.
